Can you believe we are here? We are just THREE sleeps from the premiere of The Bachelorette! I’m so excited for Rachel’s journey to finding the love of her life. I also am very nervous for how ABC will handle this season, because they are in no way equipped to handle this. I just hope for Rachel’s sake she doesn’t have to deal with too many douchebags and their offensive world view.
The men were just released on Wednesday, so I haven’t had a ton of time to really judge them, but I can assume they all smell like AXE body spray and had about a 2.0 GPA in college. Overall though, pretty attractive!
For those of you Rose Lovers who are new to the league, we do things a little differently than other Leagues/Brackets. It’s very intense, and it’s not for the faint of heart. JK. You can do this half ass and it’s fine, I’ll just make fun of you (*cough* Alex Owen *cough*). You will need to select 7 men to be on your team. For the first episode, you will earn points for all of your players. After that, you will need to select just 5 men who can earn points for each episode. We will be doing another mid-season draft so if you pick some duds, RELAX.
I’ll be accepting all team selections online, so cool!
Some resources for picking your team
DO NOT READ SPOILERS!!! If I catch any of you reading spoilers, I will send you a memo in the style of Steve Harvey telling his employees to stop ambushing him in his dressing room. I WILL NOT ENTERTAIN CHEATERS! Don’t do it. It’s not fun, and literal angel Rachel Lindsay deserves nothing but your utmost integrity.
You will have until 9 pm on Monday, May 22nd to draft your team. All submissions must be submitted online, bcuz I’m v busy lady. I am opening up the league to non-Shubes, so if you have a friend or lover recruit them to join! League Fees are staying at a hefty $2 per head. I accept dollar billz, two dollar billz, and venmo. We will be limiting the league to 30 participants, so if you submit super late you may be cut (priority does go to former members!!!).
As always, I will be awarding some amazing prizes for you. Check out last seasons prizes! I’m so funny ad witty right??
Wow, I bet you’re thinking “Wow, Madam Commissioner is gorgeous, smart, funny, how does she do it??”
So I think I covered it? I’m writing this after a week at the Road Conference and seeing a midnight show last night. I’m very hungover. I’ll send a more coherent email on Monday reminding you to submit 🙂
Xoxo Madam Commissioner